Since this is my blog and I can do what I want, I’ve decided to start posting some of the random thoughts I have on a variety of subjects. They won’t always be pretty, but I promise they’ll be one hundred percent real. I’m all about encouragement and inspiration, so today I’d like to talk to women that have had the unfortunate experience of being cheated on and/or left by a man. As in played for a fool. As in dumped. I told you it wouldn’t be pretty. It happened to me. I also told you I’d keep it real.
Having lived through the betrayal of an unfaithful spouse, I can personally identify with the feelings of low self-worth that come along with it. I know what it’s like to question your value as a woman when you’ve given the most sacred and beloved parts of yourself to someone who essentially treated you like rubbish at a yard sale. More than the pain that comes with having your heart broken by a stab in the back, is the lingering doubt about what you have to offer long after the bleeding stops and the wounds heal.
It took me while, but I got over it and fell in love. With myself, that is. I had to treat myself with tenderness. I had to remember my own individual dreams and goals. I had to show myself that life does indeed go on. Somewhere in the process of nurturing me, I started to celebrate me as well. The two go hand in hand. My self-esteem increased and so did my standards. I surrounded myself with people who love and celebrate me.
Which leads me to the scenario I thought of as I ate lunch under the shade of an oak tree yesterday. If you give a young child a choice between a shiny new quarter and a crisp one hundred-dollar bill, the child will most likely choose the quarter every time. They see it as sparkling and holding weight. It glimmers and beckons to them. They have no idea that the one hundred-dollar bill is of far greater value. They’ll happily collect dozens of quarters and ignorantly shun the bill. Anyone observing would probably smile ruefully and shake their head. After all, it’s just a child and he doesn’t know any better. What they wouldn’t do was get angry at the child or start questioning the value of the bill themselves.
The same is true of a good woman. She holds her value whether other’s recognize it or not. If a woman is the crisp one hundred-dollar bill and a cheating man is the child, why should she question her value simply because he didn’t see it? Why should she allow herself to become bitter and angry? For all intents and purposes he is just an ignorant child playing with quarters, unable to see that they are of little value. Distracted by pretty packaging without the desire or where with all to look deeper. And while he’s busy playing with quarters, a man will come along that knows the value of what the child overlooked. He’ll be a man that appreciates the finer things in life and fully understands the responsibilities that go along with having them.
Ladies if you’ve been overlooked by a child playing games with shiny things, don’t despair. You’re still worth being faithful to. You’re still desirable. You’re still valuable. You still matter.
When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me.—1 Cor. 13:11 NIV